Godzilla316
MemberAnguirusAug-13-2014 1:37 PMMarch 1 1954, Bikini Atoll
An iguana watches helplessly as a gigantic creature surfaces, only to be engulfed a huge explosion.
28 February 2015, Present Day, Classified Location
- We got a alot of time off, what we gonna do- says Mason
-Finally! I break from looking for giant monsters- says Terry
-Tell me about it-says Pete
-Well, lets start, with checking out some chicks- says Terry
-Your insane Terry- says John
-Hey, at least I dont look like some crazy armored dude, that runs around with a giant hammer- says Terry
-Well, at least he doesnt put baby oil on his forehead- says Vincent
Everybody at the table laughs
-It was just a joke man- mumbles Terry
-Dont take it too harsh Pearce- says Mason
-Anyway, I think we should maybe go partying tonight, we haven't done that in a few months- says John- everyone in
-In- said everyone in unison.
At the Club
Peter sits by the counter having some beer.
-Come on, you can't sit there all night, come dance with some chicks- says John
-I dont feel like it- says Peter
-Come on dont be a snob- says John- You cant hold onto it forever, you have to loosen up-
-Fine-
Peter starts walking around, when John brings a girl to him.
-Lindie, here is my younger brother, Pete, you two mingle while I get some drinks for the guys- says John
Pete is giving John this look like "wtf your problem man" but smiling at the same to Lindie
-So, how old are you?- says Lindie
-25- says Pete
- Im 24-
Thats was the same age as Kate dammit- Pete thinks to himself
-Where do you live?- says Pete trying to look normal
-I lived in that building where that bug thingy got stabbed- says Lindie
No, God, No-thinks Peter
Flashbacks of the night the battle between Godzilla and the MUTOs happened
"Peter, Peter"
"Im coming, dont let go"
"My grip, im losing it"
"No just wait"
(Then the building started collapsing on Godzilla)
"No, Noooo"
(After dust, everything settledown, and Godzilla had walked away)
"Kate, Kate"
Peter starts looking for her body
He finds her lying down on the floor
"Wake up dammit, WAKE UP!!!
(Back to the current day)
Pete collapses
So basically, Peter was in a relationship with another girl at the time, and they had already been in a relationship for 2 years, she however, died. So he is still struggling to manage her death and doesnt seem ready to start a new relationship. Also should I put PR v G14 on hold so I can continue with this for character development in that fan fic, or continue with PR vs G14 and put this on hold
GG
MemberGiganAug-13-2014 1:55 PMVery Good start but here is my one complaint and its only about continuity! If peter is 25 and Kate was 24 then how was peter 23 when she was 24 if he was one year older then her? And in the begining scene when ther at the desk howcome peter wasnt mentioned? But then at the club he is the main star!
Overall for a first chapter about something i hate like Zilla
9/10 you did a good job buddy! deserved!
Good grief.
Sci-Fi King25
MemberGiganAug-13-2014 6:02 PMNice start! I have a question: was the building mentioned where the mate MUTO was impaled?
“Banana oil.”- George Takei, Gigantis: The Fire Monster
Godzilla316
MemberAnguirusAug-13-2014 10:02 PM@GorillaGodzilla77897
Kate was 24 when she died, and he was 25 because his birthday is in March where he will turn 26 in the current day. I meant that Kate and Pete were already in a relationship for 2 years at the time of her death, Pete was 23 and she was 21 when they first met. I meant it for Peter to be silent through the whole thing, as if he wasnt there.
@Sci-Fi King 25
I dont know which exact building it was but you get the idea, that after the building had collapsed Katebhad died
Godzilla316
MemberAnguirusAug-13-2014 10:04 PMAlso may you guys please answer the question in the last paragraph after Pete collapeses
GG
MemberGiganAug-14-2014 11:34 AMDo whatever you feel is needed. I would focus on this one more.
Good grief.
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